drunktrophywife:

if you’re going to insult me please give me 24 hours notice so i can come up with a comeback

15 hours ago // 69,664 notes

sherlocksmyth:

sherlocksmyth:

one time my religion teacher who has a monobrow asked me “what the hell did you do to your hair?” because i had a blonde streak through it and i said “what the hell did you do to your eyebrow” and he sent me outside

when i came back in he asked everyone what monotheism was and i said it meant a religion that worshiped one god because mono means one as in monobrow and he sent me out again

15 hours ago // 153,463 notes

fefeferi:

when u accidentally hurt ur friends feelings and they insist that its fine but u know it isnt

image

15 hours ago // 67,580 notes

feistie:

megvsshark:

trishhyy:

when a girl changes her clothes in front of you, she’s either really interested or you’re level 99 friend-zoned

Or she hasn’t spotted you in the tree yet.

16 hours ago // 179,881 notes

romulusthread:

MY MATH TEACHER SAW ME TEXTING AND MADE ME STAND IN FRONT OF THE ROOM AND HE TOLD ME TO READ THE TEXTS BUT I WOULNT SO HE TOOK MY PHONE AND READ THE LAST THREE ON THERE OUT LOUD AND THE FIRST ONE WAS “IM HUNGRY” AND MY FRIEND REPLIED WITH “HUNGRY FOR SEMEN” AND I SAID “TRUE THOUGH” IMGONNA JUMP OFF A BUILDING

16 hours ago // 36,162 notes